Ownership entails responsibility
by Tony Farruggio
Are you exercising responsible stewardship over the things that you own? “A place for everything and everything in its place” is an aphorism dubiously ascribed to Ben Franklin. Leaving aside the accuracy of that attribution, it conveys a fundamental principle we all should observe. In describing something you own, one of the most important points you should be able to communicate is where that item “lives”.
Try this exercise. For the next week, in the odd moment, take time to look at every discrete object in your home — each book, hat, pencil, polo shirt, coffee mug, blender, cell phone charger, etc. No matter how small and seemingly insignificant, for every item you see in your home, you should be able to answer two questions. 1) Does that item belong to me? 2) Where does that item live?
Deciding where something lives means making a conscious choice about where it belongs. When we were children, adults in our lives tried to teach us the importance of putting things “away” when we were done with them. In this sense, putting something away meant putting it back where it belonged. If you have young children or know someone who does, take a look at any kindergarten classroom. You’ll find that toys, books and other learning materials are arranged in a neat and orderly manner. Look more closely, and you’ll notice that shelves and cubbies actually have written labels or pictures to tell children where to put items when they are finished using them. For some of us, this object lesson took permanent root. For others…well, we know who we are.
We are the ones for whom putting something “away” means simply moving it to where it stops interfering with the activity we’ve moved on to. We focus not on where the thing is, but on where it is not. When the object’s destination is irrelevant, we are as likely to remember where we put it as we are to remember which fork we used to eat last night’s pot roast. It’s just not going to happen. The next time we need that item, we spend twenty minutes looking for it, cursing ourselves the whole time for being so disorganized. Had we decided where the item belonged, and put it there, we would either have the item we need when we need it, or we might enjoy the age-old pastime of cursing someone else for messing with our stuff. Either option is infinitely preferable to repeated self-abuse.
The point is not that you should race around your home with a label maker, attaching written instructions to every container, enclosure and flat surface. The point is that giving something a home is a responsibility essential to ownership. If you don’t know where something belongs, then you have no business owning it. If locating something when you need it requires an extended search, then you don’t own it. It owns you.
I said at the outset that one question you should be able to answer is, “Does that item belong to me?” This question matters, only to the extent that a “No” answer begs the further question, “Why is it here?” If it is stolen, then by all means get rid of it before the authorities arrive. If it is borrowed, then when do you plan to return it to its rightful owner? If you have no idea, then it isn’t really borrowed, is it? Either give it back now, decide exactly when you will give it back (and why that is not now), or propose to its owner the terms by which you will acquire it. I raise this issue, not to suggest that you meticulously organize your own stuff, while leaving the detritus of other peoples’ lives scattered randomly around your house. My point is that borrowed items offer the immediate option of making their disposition someone else’s problem.
No need to belabor the idea here, and no need to launch into some frenzied quest for organizational perfection now. As suggested, just keep in the back of your mind the two questions to ask yourself when you come across an item in the course of your day. Of course, if you’re tripping over things, and your excess junk is blocking your primary fire escape routes, feel free to take a more aggressive tack. In either case, as you flagellate yourself with ambitious New Year’s resolutions of one kind or another, recognize that it took a long time to become who you are. Trying to create a better version of yourself will take considerable time as well. Accepting whatever pace your progress takes will reward your commitment to the ultimate objective.
